This year was a year of firsts, this year
being the first where you actually felt like a teen. Moody and stupid, reckless
and regretful. This was a year to try out new things, to meet new people, find
new tastes.
A year that flew past, too quickly for your
liking.
To have just settled in, taking far too
long and doing far too little, with the end so close, you curse at yourself for
being so naïve, for being so arrogant as to think you’d sail by without a
hitch.
Far too eager to try what you could, to sign
your name anywhere anytime.
Stretching yourself far too thinly like a cheap
jam sandwich.
This was a year of new love,
new interests in which you have pursued, collaborated and
created, worked independently and found how much you can love and hate people
the same time.
Its been a year of figuring life out, or at
least, attempting to figure life out. What to do with it, how to go about it,
the usual.
-You are still none the wiser, but feel you
deserve at least some credit for your attempts.
Its only now you realize how fast time
runs, runs out, how bittersweet goodbyes can be, how someones composure should
rarely be taken as a signal to their thoughts.
You realized how different you were, how
out of place you sit, and talk, the disjointed way you float around without any
significance. People know you, but do they genuinely care for you? People hug
you and smile, but would you ever call them, would they lend a hand if you
needed it?
The difference between friend and
aquaintance becomes clearer by the week, those who try and stay in contact, those
who you only see out of habit, never really having meaningful conversation,
just casual talk that fills the air, forgotten the minute you both step inside.
This year is ongoing. Onward and upward I would hope...
